The first post says it all Shalom, This is the home of the Pittsfield Jew. Sure its neat to read about Jews in Brooklyn who are very observant but how about a not so observant Jew who lives in the Mid West?

Friday, February 27, 2009

The lost pager

Today was a trip all around Hotel California. Jonny lost his pager. Angelina needed to get some bagels from Einstein Brothers. Jesse needed to get a blood draw from the cancer center. Jonny forgot to take the dog biscuits out of his pocket. That always happens when he is really tired. He forgot to take his shoes. He wore boots on the #14 bus today. Then he also forgot his wallet. Which he doesn't normally need, but it was required for buying bagels. Angelina needed some copies made. So did Jesse. Jonny made the copies. They met him at the Cancer Center. It is a short cold walk there from Radiation Oncology. That is Jonny's part of the Hotel California. Jesse showed up with his laptop. It is the family laptop. They have wireless in there now. Jonny gave Angelina the dog biscuits. Then he gave her the folder with the copies in it. She gave him the wallet and the shoes. He went up the elevator and to the bagel place. That is probably where he lost the pager as he past the Cardio Vascular Center also known as the CVC. Next the walked about 1/2 a mile to the bagel place and back. Then back down the elevator. Then Jonny helped Jesse connect the laptop on the wireless network. He gave Angelina the bagels. Next he helped carry them to the car. That is where he thought he lost the pager. But no then he walked in the cold back to his office. She past him on the way and honked the horn. Next he went into his office. He sat down and said shoot the pager isn't here. So next he went up 98 steps to the bagel place. Next past CVC and down the elevator to Cancer. They didn't have it. So he went to the valet. He went to the parking lot. But he didn't bring his coat so he went back inside. Then Jonny went up the elevator and down the long hall back to the cafeteria area, another 1/2 mile. Next down the 98 steps. On the way he called Angelina. Next he paged the pager. Then he went back outside to retrace his steps. He found a parking attendant in another shipping and receiving parking lot on the way. So he asked that guy. That guy said he would call the lost and found. Then Jonny told him what he thought the pager number was. He was close enough. The problem was he said the pager was in "security information CVC". So Jonny got really confused. Bottom line. He went back inside to his office. Next he went up the 98 steps. Then to CVC down the long hallway. Next he walked around the CVC completely. He ran into some lady from ACHO IT department. This woman always says oh you look familiar. She told Jonny how to get to the third floor of the CVC. There a man called the security office of the hospital. That man transferred them to the lost and found. The item was in the lost in found. Jonny went back down two floors to the main floor of the hospital. Next he went down the long hallway and down another flight of stairs. There at the main part of the hospital was a doorway to another hallway to security. They had the pager.


Thursday, February 26, 2009


Jonny is feeling lazy thus the title Thursday. He is up to page 290 in Man Without A Face. He thanks Cappy for continuing to read and post to his blog. Jonny is up to page 95 of Peony. Jonny tried to comment on his own blog but there was some kind of technical difficulty. Blogger thinks Jonny is an automated....

" Google

We're sorry...

... but your query looks similar to automated requests from a computer virus or spyware application. To protect our users, we can't process your request right now.

We'll restore your access as quickly .."

Jonny hasn't done much Jewish stuff. The book is Jewish. He is listening to Click FM. Tonight he might hang out with his Jewish friend. What is his name again? Ernie Lively. Angelina had to give him some free social work advice.

Last the painting argument began again. Jonny lost. He got some wine. He got some Trader Joe version of Corona. Twisted Chard was poured into his glass -- warm.

Then he set to work yelling and screaming. He had the new edging tool. But alas Alberta's desk was too unstable, too heavy, too loaded with books and trinkets. The whole thing fell down and on Jonny's head. This time it wasn't bleeding. But it hurt ten times worse. Angelina puts the desk's value at $350. So she called Ernie. Their night out to Good Time Charly is in jeopardy (That word is hard to spell.)

Tonight the honey do list will be done and then hopefully a vomit inducing drunk and smoke free Jonny will come home from the bars at 2AM on a work night? Say it isn't true. One glass last night was more than enough. Jonny has it all planned out. Ernie will say nope the desk is/isn't fixable. Then kids to bed, dinner done, chores done and the boys get to go out and play. It is supposed to rain tonight.

Jonny has been working in VASE trying to get a QOL form working. He wasn't paid enough to work in a point and click program like VASE.

Last night the likes of a republican like Angelina was bestowing the virtues of Obama. She got into it with Thomas Hill. He hates anything Obama is doing. But the meeting with the mortgage broker only got Angelina madder. She will wait until March 4 to see what the plan will do for her. She has about 3% equity on this wonderful 4 bed room homestead. It was purchased for a steal at $250 about a year ago. And here in wonderful Michigan it has steadily dropped in value. It needed work. Two other houses on the same street that were smaller sold in April 2008 and August of 2008 for $225 and $276 respectively.

Well 2 PM and the Israeli lyrics on Jonny's headset make no sense. Neither does the dj but on he will carry. Shome meme bi radio di click.


Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Blood Pressure

Jonny is up to page 285 of Man Without A Face and page 92 of Peony. Yesterday he finished listening to the Torah Gems for the Teruma parsha. Lots of miracles. The miracle of Jonny spelling the word miracle correctly. Last night he checked his BP. It was down to 140 over 80. Angelina and Jonny were fighting over the painting of Alberta's room last night. Jonny doesn't get to win arguments. Today she went back to Ace Hardware store. She returned the wrong size drain plug. Yeah that is $2 in Jonny's pocket. A very minor victory. It allowed her the opportunity to buy tools to finish the already finished painting job. She says the two toned paint job needs a little fine tuning. Seems without seeing first hand that she bought turpentine, a small brush and an edging tool. Also she worked on setting the AT&T U-Verse PIN code for the TV. This was so Alberta couldn't get into it. She suddenly remembered the code today while on with tech support for the third day in a row. Jesse has his tests next week. Lorraine is enjoying a sewing class with Lisa Haley. Lisa is the brother of Patrick Cranshaw. These are recurring character's in the Miller family life. Yesterday Angelina kidnapped Jonny from work and they met with their mortgaged broker of Money Source for over an hour. How boring. Last night around 9:30 Jonny called Good Time Charlys. They answered the phone. They confirmed they didn't go out of business and they are a smoke free bar. This is about 1.33 miles away from Jonny's house. Apparently if the reviews are to believed they have killer 21 year old super shot slamming vomit inducing birthday parties. They have 23 ounce long island ice tea drinks. OK back to XML style sheets and form customization in VASE. Lea made a surprise visit to work at Hollywood on the same day as Jonny. She wants him to take his wonderful VB.NET program and convert it from VB.NET 2008 Express back to Visual Studio (VB) 2005. Some people are so darn picky.


Monday, February 23, 2009

Bar hopping

Jonny is up to page 270 of Man Without A Face and page 59 of Peony. He feels that Peony is all about what it is like and not like to be a slave in China in 1850. The Jewish part is with a twisted Chinese perspective. Speaking of Jewish. Jonny is listening to Torah Gems, parsh Terumah. His blood pressure is up again. On Friday morning it was as low as 114 / 77. But last night it was consistently 150 / 100. Jonny's cousin is getting married. Richard Ziman is going. Nancy Ticotin isn't. There is hotel rooms reserved for $89. Angelina says he can go to Dallas for one Saturday night. There is a Bar Mitzvah in Ann Arbor. It is for Patrick Cranshaw. Alberta is in the Torah reading honors. Jonny will being doing a blessing of the Torah. But not chanting a portion. That honor is all Alberta and Patrick's. Meanwhile Richard says that Wendell Pierce and Kristina Krofft are willing to pay for Jonny and Richard's room and they can room together as brothers instead of a group of three or four: 2 kids and their parents. Besides: Jonny is 40, Richard 33, Wendell 62 and Kristina 61. This of course will be low priority for Angelina to arrange and that causes some strife in Jonny's mind, since his parents will think that he and his wife are cold and heartless and unwelcoming to the rest of the family. So what. Just leave them alone. At this moment though, Jonny is fighting with his wife Angelina too. She is complaining about the Mortgage man they have to meet with tomorrow. She is complaining about raising Alberta a 13 year old girl. End of problem. Jonny says ship her off to Richard. She would love to get away from her mother, meet her uncle and love, love, love the San Diego weather. Unfortunately Angelina doesn't think that way.

Oh yeah Jonny's family had Chinese food with Ernie Lively. Amy Golden was with her mother for the spring break. They ordered Peking duck three days in advance. The food still took 45 minutes to carry out. Then afterwards around 9 PM Jonny and Ernie walked 2 miles into town. They began their bar hopping.

Well off to check Jonny's voicemail on his cell phone. And to do some more forms in the hideous VASE product.

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Wednesday, February 18, 2009


For lack of a clever title, today is Wednesday. On Monday Jonny read chapter 23, 24, and 25 of Jeremiah. Not much is happening in that story. Today he listened to Torah Gems, parsha Mishpatim. He also started listening to another commentator's audio from Chabad today. This parsha is the one about the ox gores someone's property. Torah Gems talk a lot about kosher milk. This is ridiculous that in the US someone would be concerned that the milk wasn't from a cow. But to each his own. Jonny is up to page 268 of Man Without A Face and page 32 of Peony. Too bad in Peony it doesn't look like the main character is going to marry Peony, for whom the book is titled. Sorry if this gives away too much of the story. Oh no the blog is flowing into one long paragraph again. Oh no Jonny is losing interest again in reporting the days events. Jonny had his mid-year evaluation with Rob today. Everything is fantastic. His mentor Lea is working half-time now. She is loving it. Jonny just got of the phone with her. He was in the process of re-writing her VB program in VB 2008 . NET and also updating the Sybase driver to Data Direct ODBC. So the buttons on the screen weren't showing up. This was because the screen resolution wasn't correct. He adjuste the designer view and moved the buttons up. Now data appears in the form. Back to the main task at hand. The main task wasn't the VB and DB driver. Nope. The main task was to upgraded the Printer class. The printer class worked in VB 6 but not this new VB. So to the user the print button does nothing. Penny is in her office talking to someone. Time to fall asleep listening to the tales of the ox goring someone.

Monday, February 16, 2009


Today Jonny went to a couple of vendor demonstrations. These are for a product for the whole university to use to store clinical trials. One had an underlying database system of Oracle and the other one used SQL Server.

Jonny is up to page 24 of Peony. The main character has been part of an arranged marriage since birth. This is in order to keep the Jewish line going. Jonny is up to page 258 of Man Without A Face.

Over the weekend Jonny's Mother-in-law, aunt, brother and parents all called. He isn't really that interested in talking to any of them.

Jonny saw a movie. It was called Casualties of War. He also had to watch it in two sittings. This was because he doesn't get a lot of free time. There was a minor snow storm. Jonny also watched, deleted scenes, Michael J. Fox's take on the movie and the director's take, called making of the moview. It was all very interesting. But the movie was a real depressing subject. It was like the holocaust theme.

Also over the weekend. Jonny went to Home Depot. They had a paint sale. He went to his daughter's basket ball game and soccer game. She had two basket ball games. He took a lot of video of the game. She played center so she didn't get the ball much. The guards refused to pass to her.

Jonny is thinking about typing in a few blog entries from an old diary from 1994-2000, in a back dated fashion. The problems are: the characters will need to be developed, the background will need to be explained, there isn't much Jewish content, the entries are somewhat "adult". Any input from the readers?

Friday, February 13, 2009


Jonny listened to Parsha Yitro chanting this morning. He is here in Hotel California. Later he has a wellness screening. The company gives the employees $100 incentive bonus to go on it. Jonny looked online for some homeopathic remedies for bronchitis. He decided to get antimonium tartaricum for dizziness and bryonia for thirst and the need to be left alone. They are both one of many possible drugs to take for the symptoms of bronchitis. Wendell wanted Jonny to take steroids. But Jonny was too dedicated to take a break and go to a doctor. So he talked to a lung radiation oncology doctor. She said drink water. Then cough up the mucus. Jonny is up to page 14 of Peony. This is a book about Chinese Jews. He is up to page 238 of Man Without A Face. This is about a Jewish holocaust survivor who became the East German master spy against West Germany. He lived through the Berlin Wall error. He also retired after the wall came down. Now Jonny has started watching a DVD. It is called Casualties of War. It contains the actors Sean Penn and Michael J. Fox. It is about Vietnam. The soldiers do some bad stuff to the civilians. The war is hard on everyone. The soldiers lose fellow soldier friends because civilians harbor the enemy. Jonny got a Valentine's Day candle today. Too bad the girl who gave it to him is about to be fired by Penny. The whole group of them are conspiring to prove she hasn't been doing her work properly. She is very pretty and works independently. She is the kind of really tall woman who comes across as majorly professional. But she calls in sick a lot. Isn't organized as she comes across. She does sound a little like a ditz sometimes. Jonny almost never sees her because she works away from Hotel California. Time to stretch.

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Monday, February 09, 2009

The mood is dark

Jonny just finished listening to the Parsha Yitro from Torah Gems. He is up to page 229 of Man Without A Face. He finally decided to start another book. Now Jonny is up to page 4. The new book is called Peony by Pearl S. Buck. She seems to write like an American, very straight forward, with no subtly. Jonny has a bad cold now. His throat is sore. Today he had a meeting at Primo. This is a coffee shop at 5th and Liberty. The other people complained. The reason for their complaints was the parking. Parking in downtown Ann Arbor is $1 per hour. On Thursday Jonny has a meeting at Hotel California and he isn't scheduled to be at that office. Over the weekend Lorraine and Jonny made their annual ritual of Saturday night at the Burns Park Play. It was great. The play Annie Get Your Gun was fantastic. The music was great. The acting great. Ernie did the sets. It was great too. Jesse got his snails over the weekend. Over the weekend Angelina fell deathly ill. On some occasions Jesse refuses to sleep alone in his bed. Last night was not one of those occasions. He refused to get up before 8 AM this morning. It made everyone late. Angelina worked today. She dragged herself to a substitute teaching job, so as to make some extra money for her family. Alberta skipped her soccer game. She felt she gells more with the basketball team than with the soccer team. Jonny took several pictures and video of Jesse's soccer game and Alberta's. Ernie and Amy came over for dinner unexpectedly last night to hand off the snails.


Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Post Office

Angelina was so mad. The post office lost her package. She had Jonny make copies of all the tax information. Then she took it to the post office to mail. She spent $17.50. The information never made it to Thomas. The next day the post office wouldn't pick up her mail. The delivered mail to her house but left a note. The note said "too icy on walk". Which begs the question, how did he get up to the house to leave the note and the mail, but was unable to pick up the mail. There were bills to be paid in that out going mail and they didn't take it. Next she went today to drop off the mail at the post office and to complain about the package that didn't make it to Thomas in Pennsylvania. Today the package made it to Pennsylvania. So now the account can get to work on Angelina's refund. Jonny is up to page 186 of Man Without A Face. He had plans to start another book. But he never did. Last he and Angelina watch Law and Order. It was about child abduction and jewel thieves. The new storm window is all frosted over. This frost is exactly what the old one looked like. There are only 6 out of 13 screws in the window frame, because it was too scary to finish the work. The house appraisal is still not finished. It might be unofficially finished at $300. This means Jonny will be able to lower his payments by a full $100.

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Sore throat

OK now that Jonny's medical history is out of the way. Onto parsha Beshalach. The Jews didn't lose their sense of humor. They asked Moshe if he brought them out into the desert because they lacked cemetery space in Egypt. Jonny listened to Torah Gems again today. He learned that the dead will come back to life. Life will be sweet even in trying circumstances. This is because the sweet water will come from a bitter stick. A bitter stick will make bitter water sweet. There are 2 shabbos loaves because there are mana from heaven a double portion on shabbos. How did Paro get his animals to attack the Jews. He thought the Jews were coming back. When he did decide to go chase them down he asked the people for animals. Only the very frum Egyptians according to Rabbi Abe Melach. Butchered the name but oh well. Only the people who listened when the plagues came down that the animals would be killed. These people feared and revered g-d even though they were Mitzriam. So they put their animals away. But then when it was decreed even the righteous from Egypt will perish with the wicked in the red sea, this was why. Paro got his animals to chase the Jews from the frum Egyptians so they too despised the Jewish people. Hmm. Jonny always thought that some people said why not put the animals away and maybe they won't perish in the storm.

Last night Angelina and Jonny watch Cold Case. It was an episode about a transvestite. Jonny created an access database to track all the bank teller jobs that he is applying for on Angelina's behalf. He is up to page 181 of Man Without A Face. He finished his big Sybase project yesterday.

Monday, February 02, 2009


Jonny has come to this point due to a lot of circumstances coming together at once. Angelina went to Trader Joe's yesterday. Jonny helped her make some copies for the year. They are sending the information to Thomas Hill. He will glady do his taxes for his daughter. Then the two of them bought lots of food and stuff. There was this beer called simpler times, 4.99 for a 6-pack and 3.99 in cans. Jonny took the cans. He found some cheap wine too. Then he convinced her to get the Spanish sparkling wine. Later she convinced him to get the second six pack of beer. Later they watch cold case on television after the super bowl.

Angelina begged Ernie Lively to come over and help Jonny with the storm window. He came over and they went back to Ernie's house to get his ladder. There was really nice weather yesterday almost 40 degrees. To celebrate Jonny opened the sparkling wine. A few hours after that Angelina made dinner, and Ernie went home. His daughter was away for the weekend.

Here is a brief synopsis of Torah Gems parsha Bo from last week. In one of the plagues we are allowed to reveal our pen up feeling for g-d. Next the Jews take the wealth out of Egypt. The miracle of the quiet dogs. Mitzvah and Matza do the Mitzvah right way.

Angelina got Jonny some new boots. The new boots are awesome. They keep his feet really warm and dry. He is up to chapter 9 of Man Without A Face
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