The first post says it all Shalom, This is the home of the Pittsfield Jew. Sure its neat to read about Jews in Brooklyn who are very observant but how about a not so observant Jew who lives in the Mid West?

Monday, June 30, 2008

The server died

Well it seemed like the server died. So the DBA made Jonny mail him the tnsnames file. But then the database was alive and kicking. So he finished up the carbon data analysis. The Directory of Operations said, These numbers seem low. What are the time frames. Jonny wrote back. She wrote back ok. Jonny is typing now instead of adding the passwords to the c sharp programs. Lea wants him to work on Billing support. But her stuff is low down on the list. As a first step Jonny was planning to pull the passwords to the sybase db from an access db. Lea set that up in Jonny's first program. So now it is a standard. See how things happen here in Hollywood. So anyway he cranked out one more program for demographics. But he did it in a hurry and it had the passwords right in it. If it aint broke don't fix it. So as a warm up for his third program he was gonna put the password into the demographics program. Or really take them out. But now Lea is out to lunch and Jonny has finished his after lunch coffee and woken up from drifting off to sleep. He pretty much has to fight to stay awake so he won't spill coffee on himself.

Jonny never finished listening past the first 15 minutes of Korach. But he listened to a few minutes of this week's parsha on his MP3 player. He downloaded from his PC here at work. Then he made some copies, had a meeting. This is the week of Chukat. The famous red heffer mitzvah. It is famous because it makes no sense. Jews follow it or they did follow it because they were told to. A divine decree. It makes no sense because those who follow it become tumay or unclean. Yet it cleans up others. Thus the paradox. From the picture on the chabad website, it appears this is also the parsha of the water. If this is correct then the narrative continues the path of Benay Yisrael not following G-D's word and begging yet again to go back to Egypt. When Alberta mentioned going back to Egypt in her Bat Mitzvah speech it was one of the few jokes in her speech. She said Moshe and Aaron were mad at the people, I would have been mad to. They spent their entire adult lives working towards this goal and the people wanted to go back. First the golden calf, the spies, korach, the water, the doves. Yet most people only know about the golden calf. According to Friedman the Jews were a slave mentality and not yet ready to go to Israel as free people.

Must continue. Over the weekend Jonny did many chores. It rained all weekend. For one thing Jonny had Lorraine return Shalimar the Clown. Also she got him Rich Dad, Poor Dad and Dune one of the many books of it. He did fertilizing and grass seeding. Jonny put up new numbers on the house. He also planted three flowers and three herbs. Unfortunately he cracked a mirror putting a closing latch on a medicine cabinet. He is up to page 152 of Love is a Killer App. He eagerly awaits his certificate for the online class.


Friday, June 27, 2008


Jonny had half day off today. Hopefully he passed his online class. The head of the online class he is teaching is already giving him access to his class to review it. So it will be a big joke if he fails the online class on teaching online. Which by the way was a big waste of time. That is probably the theme of today's post a big waste of time. And how that make Jonny so angry. He wasted a ton of time waiting for the bus and then going to work. When he got to Hotel California, Penny made him work on the pancreas numbers. That is done. Now he doesn't feel like doing anything else. So he fell asleep. Then he went to the lounge to eat an apple. He was listening to Korach at the bus stop but some girls asked for directions to the Salvation Army and then the battery died. Or the "song" skipped back a song. So need he needs to ff to the right spot in the lecture. Today Angelina is meeting him at the walkin urgent care to get the staples out of his head. She paid for the golf outing and the girl collecting the money had her supervisor send out an email that she was quitting. Jonny went off to the lounge to read up to page 89 of Love is the Killer App. He plans to return Shalimar the Clown. He has no more interest in Kashmir or India or as Lawrence his friend used to say "I don't care what happens to these characters". This lovecat book is a waster of time too. But it is short. The CD by Rushdie is long on Shalimar the Clown. Jonny is already tired of the narrator's Indian voice. Tired of the endless story.

In Korach, Jonny learns that Korach made jokes. He connected last week's parsha to this one because of the thread of the tallit. When he jokes he makes something important diminished all the way unto nothing. He made 250 tallit for his followers made out of tallit strings without fringes. So they weren't koshe tallit but it was his big joke on the Mitzvah. And that is how he had the strength to go up against Moshe.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Majorly busy

Jonny finished the changes to the XSL. Now he is waiting for someone else to put them into the oracle table. He feels he can't trust himself to do that. He is also reading some more of Love is the Killer App, currently page 44. Yesterday he picked up at the library on CD Shalimar the Clown by Salomn Rushdie. It is something like 18.25 hours. Today Jonny has physical therapy, he might finish the 1st CD by today. Tasks to do include: extract data from a study, extract potential carbon beam patients, extract charity contribution mailing, update resident and physician lists.

He has been listening to Korach on the way to and from the car. Korach used humor to influence his followers into following him. His wife encouraged him to do this. Korach saw into the future and his children would become great leaders. That is why he went up against Moshe. But he didn't realize that he and his 250 followers would be swallowed up by the earth.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

It was great

Yes the Bat Mitzvah was great. Alberta was so happy. She smiled during the whole thing. She was comfortable up on the bimah. She did a wonderful job. She was knowledgeable about the Hebrew. Her speech was excellent. Jonny's parents and Angelina's parents were there too. Jonny did his 6 lines of Torah chanting and got many undeserved compliments on that too.

Back at work at Hotel California yesterday Jonny finished two books. He finished the Great Gatsby. He finished Big Trouble, 317 pages. Today he goes to physical therapy from work at Hollywood. So he'll go to the library and get maybe a book and a book on CD. Lea isn't here so he has no sense of work pride. As a matter of fact he was so disgusted he left work an hour early yesterday. Why? The answer is because he is editing an extended markup language style sheet. Also known as XSL. The forms migrated somehow all the data but the style sheet was lost. So if a patient didn't have 15 treatments, there are about 10 pages of blank entries. The old way would make the form only as big as needed. The way without the XSL or with the default XSL makes the form too big. Too long to print out.

He met with the program manager at WCC on Monday. Jonny's winter 2008 evaluations were more than 2 standard deviations from the average. So he was in big trouble. The boss said to make a checklist and hand out it each day.


Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Migrating forms

Darn form won't migrate. Here in Hotel California. Jonny rode his bike. He is in his usual fight between Angelina and Kristina. Angelina won't roll out the red carpet for Jonny's parents per usual. And if he even asks then she screams at him. He is up to page 100 of Big Trouble. His on the second CD of The Great Gatsby. He and Alberta practiced a little for the Bat Mitzvah together last night. He made some changes to a form and it won't migrate.Yesterday Angelina got the shower fixed. It costs $300. There is a huge hole in Lorraine's room. This will require Jonny's dry wall patching skills. Jonny's parents will be here Friday at 1PM and he won't even see them until the Friday night dinner. This is because Angelina refuses to be socialable. Also her Father is driving here today. Jonny starts teaching 4 nights a week tomorrow.

Thursday, June 12, 2008


Jonny finished two books. He finished Dandelion Wine and From a Buick 8. The Stephen King book was around 385 pages? Not sure. He will check the reviews on Amazon. He got that book for two dollars at a birch run outlet mall. He'll probably give it away in Hotel California. The other was a book on CD. Now he has started The Great Gatsby. This book is not very exciting. He also started a Dave Barry book. Now that book is funny, or according to all the reviews it promises to be funny. The title is Big Trouble. Jonny is going to suggest to Angelina they get out of the book selling. They have no books for sale and too much is going on right now. More on that late. Last night he called Kristina on the way home from school. Jonny has the Angelina report. She is getting a table from a friend for the Bat Mitzvah brunch. The steam cleaner is fixed. The next dentist appointment is scheduled. She never gets anything done. She plans to get the air conditioning guy to come out because it is so hot. She is sick of the Bat Mitzvah. Angelina has laundry to do, stuff in the car to unload. She has to pick up Alberta at 3 PM and that cuts into her whole day. She also has cookie dough to deliver for the kids. Lorraine sold it all over the neighborhood. Angelina wants to work on the organizing the and putting away of the kitchen stuff but Lorraine wants to have Annabella come over. Angelina says Annabella Sciorra is too much work to have over.

Jonny went to the Ice Cube. He burned up over 21.3 miles. After that it was off to the dentist. Then to Death Valley and then the Lucky Kitchen. Finally here in Hollywood. Then he goes home. Here Jonny is searching on how to lock a table in sybase. Last night he practiced his Torah chanting.


Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Not getting the credits

Jonny was given a new assignment by Lea. It has something to do with credits. He is not getting it. He emailed her, and she sits next to him, about 10 times today. Her answers seem to flow in circles. Jonny's questions flow in circle. He is so confused. He is almost done with From a Buick 8. Lea just walked by. Earlier Jonny went out to his car and napped for an hour. He is nervous about the CT scan, his throat was bothering him all day. So he stayed up late on the computer and didn't think about the post nasal drip. Angelina is calling. She can't seem to understand that Jonny emailed her the difficult and complicated answer to her question. She doesn't seem to know how to use the paperclip thingy.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

CT Scan

At Jonny's appointment he found out he needs a CT scan. Note most people call these a CAT scan when in fact it is really a CT scan and the cat is just something people add to it. He was complaining that his hand hurt. Hold on time to get a drink of water. Ahh. Now Jonny is doing well. He did his Torah practicing last night. He also read a lot of the book From a Buick 8. Jonny is almost onto page 300. He will probably finish. Maybe. He did watch two Scrubs episode last night. In addition, he found the main character's blog. Jonny has so many chores to do. He watered the plants last night. He graded some homework too. Angelina is busy too. She is going to the secretary of state for Alberta. Hmm. Not sure what that is all about. She is fixing the steam cleaner at Ann Arbor Vacuum. Jonny listened to one of the CD's. He also listened to Dandelion Wine in the car. Wendell emailed back the query of Wendell's Hebrew name for the Bat Mitzvah. In a little while Jonny is going to the Death Valley for a training session on calendars. He was just there yesterday. Med Sport is in Lobby A, ABL is in Lobby B, Velos was in Lobby M and they moved part of their operations to Lobby L. Last time he was there he saw one of his old coworkers from ABL. The first CD was a protest CD. A compilation of 60's songs. This next one is a rock CD. It is called Sonic Youth or something like that. First song seemed good. So Jonny recorded it in mp3 format and dropped it onto the mp3 player. He also copied this week's parsha. Last night he did situps, made his lunch, nasal irrigation, and stretching. His weight is done to 143. Angelina is calling. She was going to deal with the plumber. The kids bathroom needs a new shower head. The altima needed a new power window. The car also needed a tail light.

Monday, June 09, 2008

Torah, torah, torah

What a hot day today is. Jonny learned yesterday that he has to read from the Torah. Not as in read with the trope, end of sentences and vowels. So last night he printed off some Torah for versus 25-30. Then guess what? He had a dream last night about Japanese calligraphy. This was further enhanced by sleeping in Jesse's upper bunk bed. Jonny maintained his bad habit of coming to bed around 12:45. He allowed enough time to shower and shave to be in bed by 1 AM. Yes that is very late. But there was Jesse already in bed with Angelina. So after getting ready for bed Jonny went off to the bunk bed. And hence the weird dream?

Today Jonny had physical therapy. Later he has a visit to the orthopedic surgeon. This will include x-ray, mri and results analysis.

Here at work the oracle views stopped working. Ugh. The computer says insufficient rights. First the views wouldn't work because the underlying tables were gone. Now the table is there but Jonny doesn't have the rights he once had to make the view.

On the way to physical therapy he went to the library. He picked up 4 CD's to copy to his MP3 player. He also put watch more Scrubs episodes on his to do list. Finally Jonny got two CDs on tape in case one he doesn't like. He is giving The Great Gatsby another chance. It has been about 22 years and maybe his tastes have changed. The other book is a Bradbury called Dandelion Wine, which honestly sounds like a hideous book. He is on page 200 of From a Buick 8. That book is getting to be slow going, even though there quite a bit of horror.

The kitchen got finished over the weekend. The shelves weren't the right size. So Jonny was scrambling to find someone who could cut the shelves down to fit into the cabinets. Parents never appreciate that their adult kids are really busy doing their own thing. So Jonny talked to Wendell anyway while cleaning up his painting supplies and putting up switch plate covers.


Friday, June 06, 2008


Sorry Jonny just woke up. He fell asleep at his desk. He was listening to the MP3 player parsha. Then the battery died and he fell asleep. He is charging it now. Jonny rode his bike to Hotel California. And he listened to techno music along the way. Today is really hot. Penny just walked in. This is a tight office. She has a coffee drink. Jonny just drank some coffee and fell asleep. He and Penny were talking all day. Angelina called. She wants Jonny to do some gardening tonight. It is hot out. The counter top is in the kitchen. The granite is in. The dishwasher is in. So is the garbage disposal.

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Guest List

How in the world is Angelina going to get the guest list? Diedrich Bader, Cloris Leachman, Erika Eleniak and Jim Varney are on that list. Jim said he and his group are coming, but they won't eat anything. Now come on. Angelina says the synagogue is strictly kosher. The food at the JCC will be strictly kosher. Earlier today Angelina wanted to know if Wendell had paid his deposit. So Jonny emailed him. Very reluctantly. Well that went ok. He wrote back one word. Yes. Jonny has been listening to Naso on his MP3 player. He is on the second listening to it. He went to his car today to take a nap. What else is new? He relaxed and let go. He read a chapter of From a Buick 8. Now he is on page 190. He listened to the parsha while relaxing, while walking to and fro. It is great. It is better than listening on the computer. He can walk to the kitchen, get coffee here in Hollywood. He can water the plants. Jonny can warm up a pizza and clean his plate, brush and floss, all while listening to the MP3 player. In school the students are going to have to take the midterm next week. Jonny wanted to do his online class today but now it is time to blog. Ooops went onto an internet tangent. But Jonny is back now. He was reluctant to learn yiddish because so much of what he know is wrong/questionable. Like the word noodge or nudge. This link explains it one way http://partners.nytimes.com/library/magazine/home/20001008mag-onlanguage.html but that is long and boring. This link http://www.yiddishdictionaryonline.com/ thinks the word is nudge in english and נודזש in yiddish also spelled nudzh and pronounced noodze. Jonny was always "taught" the word was pronounced as noodge. Or somewhere between a nudge and a noodge. See according to Yiddish a nation of words a yid likes the taste of loshen on his loshen. He likes the taste of a yiddish word in his mouth. So go say something like shlub kup and vont without laughing. Tonight Jonny will among five thousand other chores lookup weinreich's definition of noodge. But it probably changed between when he wrote it and now. He died 1 year before Jonny was even born. Last night Jonny called his mother. He and Kristina chatted like old friends for almost half an hour. Jonny started reading an ebook on his mp3 player called the aliens. He is up to chapter 30 of Plain English at Work, The title of the chapter is handling questions and answers. Jonny tried to incorporate some of what he learned in chapter 29 entitled giving your presentation - in the excel chapter 2 class. He figured out how to underline. Edit the html. Use the u tag. He practiced his Torah for 20 minutes from 10:40 to 11 last night and stretched for the first time in a while. You know what they say curiosity killed the cat and satisfaction made him fat. "Our nap lasted only a while. I think we should sleep awhile longer." per the web site. And lest he forget, he finished the CD Fahrenheit 451. Angelina bought stuff to plant at the farmer's market. Jonny has pt at 5 today next to the library. So he plans to kill those future evil times in the car by picking up another Bradbury right next to where oh for the last time spell the stupid word right, Fahrenheit 451 was. The granite counter is in the kitchen now. The cabinets have been going up. More work tonight. Not by Jonny of course of course. The handyman said the paint job was excellent. Jonny knows the ceiling looks awful. Believe it or not Jonny was in the car 3 times countem 3 times since the book was done. He had to listen to am radio. Clinton is almost out? Well there was the trip to school. The trip home from Lowes last night. There was the trip to work today. There will be the trip to the ice cube tonight. Ughh he needs a book on cd now. Even though he drives about 6 miles a day. On some days.

Labels: ,

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Two days on MP3 and counting

Jonny has been so busy doing nothing that he just finished lunch. Later he has to eat dinner. He has class at 6, where he is the teacher. Today's lunch was turkey sandwich a trilogy ending today. Now he is here in Hollywood drinking coffee. He spent most of the last two days playing with his MP3 player. It is an imitation of the 24 mm cube made by Centron, JNS and hyunwon. The Centron manual even has the same exact language in it, layout, format, weird english translation. Hmmm. Angelina is very needy today. Alberta is now in a cast. Wendell and Kristina might call tonight at 8PM oh boy Jonny won't be there for that. This MP3 player can play ebook, basically anything in .txt format but here is the catch. It has 3 lines that are 8 characters wide. As a programmer Jonny could reformat the text. The thought of such an algorithm is giving him a headache. Probably a google search for text justification algorithm would give some ideas. Then take a text file and reformat in the program with line breaks. Jonny's back is killing him. He took a 1.5 hour nap until 12:20 and that didn't help it much. He stayed up too late. Alberta was looking for glue and printing on the color printer at 11PM. She also had Jonny's laptop so he did his online class homework on the desktop. Probably didn't get a great grade. All his 14 students have A's now. Yeah that is the way to do it. Based on 3 assignments. Each worth 400 points. Jonny put parsha naso on the MP3 player. No bike ride yesterday. Jonny was dumped off the bus at Caribou coffee in a fish bowl like water scenario. The whole place outside was flooded. In the time to cross the street his shirt was dryer standing up then bending over. Then he went home and in a thunderstorm used the gas grill. He has to get back into the situps and nasal irrigation. Now he can listen to the parsha discussion on the way to and fro the car for naps or to the bus or even on the bike. "But you are supposed to listen to music" wailed Angelina. He will but first he wants to listen to a one hour lecture three times. And then do it over again next week. How kosher is that to listen to a torah drash while walking to schul in the morning on a saturday? Maybe tonight Jonny will waste his hard earned petty cash on Burger King. Oh how he has to whore himself just to get $10. Just a joke of course. He started reading the introduction to the English Yiddush dictionary by weinfeld. Not sure if that is the name. OK Weinreich is the name. Hard to read the dictionary unless you understand the symbols. So perhaps a tour of the 40 page introduction will help. Jonny better get back to practicing his torah chanting too. On a regular basis too.

Monday, June 02, 2008

Book Review

Jonny is going to try and keep it real today. Real on a topic not on a tangent. Practice his writing coherently skills. He is just passing page 100 of From a Buick 8. Ok now the font changed? Hmm. In this version no underling is possible so it keeps flipping to javascript when typing control u.

Jonny is not going to be fooled into using that other font. He copied the first sentence and pasted below. Phone. Angelina. Much about nothing. Not even worth noting. Yes don't f with Jonny mr blogger because Jonny fooled you into using the right font again.

So after that much text Jonny can form an opinion of the book. But first remember A Thin Dark Line? and Prior Bad Acts. Ok not much to talk about there. He read the reviews on Amazon. There is always a "I read every book by Tami Hoag and a Thin Dark Line is Awful". To Jonny the books were similar. Prior Bad Acts seemed more suspenseful since it was audio. The serial killer part was more scary than a thin dark line. But Prior bad acts lost some of its touch because it stayed on one day for so long. A thin dark line was romance and it had it all over from the first glance. Oh well, stick with guy books.

Now onto bladerunner. Sci fi. Written in 1968! the year Jonny was born. It had a different title too. Jonny checked the reviews on Amazon just now. Yep the book sucked. But it sucked in a weird kinda way. Ever read 1984, animal farm. Did those books suck? Yes in a weird kinda way. They aren't about the action. They are about the philosophy. That isn't the right word. Is there a word for moral dilemmas? But anyway the consensus is the movie is about nor and rain in San Fran. So Jonny wants to see it to see how it compares to the book. Most people did it the other way around. And since he remembers this much of the movie. Yeah the book was about zero on the action scale. The main character was a dweeby dork.

King is an arrogant, I am the best writer, kind of writer. His stories make you want to turn the page. But he drags the story out. He makes the reader feel like this guy has a massive ego. This is his signature. Also this book is a flashback - yuck. It was supposed to be the inspiration for his finishing up the Dark Tower series. This is about police and Pennsylvania. Angelina is from there and Thin Dark Line had a lot of police in it.

Jonny read a chapter of plain english at work and started the book Love is the Killer App - how to win business and influence friends. He read the first chapter of that book. Both on Friday. Today he had physical therapy so that broke up the day a bit. Since Lea is gone for the week he has to do some work that she normally would do.
Listed on BlogShares