Tom cont

Another one sent to Drew and Mike...

-----Original Message-----
From: Tom
Sent: Monday, June 27, 2005 4:01 PM
To: 'drewmike@wrif.com'
Subject: War -- wasted on the young

Drew and Mike,

I turn 45 this week, so the following letter is a bit premature. But I don't want to forget this when my memory starts to crap out, so I'll just postdate it for my 75th in the hopes that they'll keep it on file until then.

June 29, 2035

To: The Secretary of Defense The Pentagon Washington, DC

Dear Secretary,

I have become aware that the age limit for military service is 37 years old. What in the Sam Hill were you guys thinking? I can shoot twice as straight as those fetuses you have running around down there, and since my tallywhacker quit, I won't need any time off to chase after any poontang, either.

I am the ideal candidate for service, since I don't really want to live much longer anyway. I don't want to wait around until I get Alzheimer's and drive everybody nuts asking the same question every 5 seconds. I'm not looking forward to Parkinson's either, but I hear some dames really like the 'human vibrator' thing. Did I mention my tallywhacker problem?

Anyway, I don't get around real good nowdays, but just set me in a window or in a lawn chair and I'll drill those bad guys and how. And I'm real grumpy, so they won't have to screw up twice. No siree Bob. Even if I just get a couple of them before I get blown up or just forget what I'm doing, I figure we'll still be ahead.

Looking forward to my marching orders,

Tom Ann Arbor, MI